Senior year has been an extremely challenging time for me so far. While filling out college applications I was constantly faced with questions asking me why I belonged at a school or what made me special. I spent hours staring at a blank Google document surrounded by empty coffee mugs.
The one thing holding me back from starting my college applications were the questions pointed towards my character. I did not know who I was as a person or what I wanted. It was extremely frustrating and discouraging.
To be honest, I started thinking negatively about myself and my potential. The words “I can’t” and “that is not possible” were frequent words in my vocabulary.
I was unable to put myself into words on a page. Then, one morning, I walked into my favorite coffee house after a long night of staring at a blank screen. I thought a change in venue would help me defeat my writer’s block. Sadly, after another hour of procrastination filled with Pinterest searches, I decided to walk into the bookstore next door. My bank account was low due to the expensive latte I had just purchased, so I was drawn to the sale section in the back of the store. There was a shelf labeled “five dollars and under”. This seemed like the perfect sale for me, but there was a catch. You had to buy a book with the cover hidden behind construction paper. I was intrigued, so I bought a book as a distraction. Little did I know that this would be the best three dollars I have spent in my life so far.
It turned out that the book was about putting positive energy out into the world. It talked about how thinking positive thoughts is the key to living a happy and successful life. The words, “can’t” and “impossible” are no longer allowed. The most powerful message I took from this book was that I had to start living life for myself. I stopped doing things I thought I needed to do to impress other people and started to do things that I loved again. I decided that I would do a trial run by spending a week living by the rules of the book. That week changed my mindset and priorities for the better. The first thing on the list was to start surfing again.
I realized that I stopped doing a lot of things that I loved because I decided they were no longer a priority. That was the root of all of my problems.
It was unproductive and unhealthy. I now know that it is extremely important to take time for myself. It is important to do the things I love because life is so short, and it should not be spent feeling unhappy. Once I added the things I loved doing back into my routine, I noticed improvement. My grades, my attitude, and my lifestyle changed for the better. It was all because I did what I loved and learned to love who I am. This resulted in my discovering what I am passionate about and who I want to be as a person. I now have faith in my future, and I am looking forward to the adventures ahead. And it’s all because I spent three dollars on a book in the back of a store.
LAMPLIGHTER 